Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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