How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
