Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Randomize
