this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize