Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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