I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
