omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
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