it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
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