Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
BRING THE BAGELS
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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