And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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