if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
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