Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
