I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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