I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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