Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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