Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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