I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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