I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
