Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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