You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I need moral support for this bender
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Randomize