This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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