There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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