I hate all girls vehemently.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
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I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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