He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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