How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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