I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
