You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
