he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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