very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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