She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
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Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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