You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Dicks are not precious.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Randomize
