So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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