i barfeds in our rink
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
