but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Randomize
