My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
