Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
my vag is so smooth its legendary
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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