can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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