Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
