I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
My vagina is officially offended.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
