think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
