We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize