I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
