You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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