Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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