Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Randomize
