Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
