make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
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