I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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