I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
