I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Semen is not good for contacts.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
