white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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