You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
