Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Barsexuality is the new black.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
