i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
