I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
