What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
