U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
