he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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