I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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