i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Randomize
