okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize
