Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
