I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize
