Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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