This girl is more easily done than said...
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
