He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
