I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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