imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
The power of my boobs compel you
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
