I think I am morally bankrupt
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
